I am presently involved with a warrior, and have been for the past three standard years. He’s wonderful and devoted. He left me alone about two months back to go work a job in the Outer Rim Territories. He holos daily or leaves me messages, never wavering. He professes how much he misses me, and I stare blankly at the images.
I came across a human sith, standing alone at the cantina on the fleet. Oh, this was quite a while ago. We chatted over drinks, found common interests, and on several occasions enjoyed each others company. Recently though, we have been spending more time together, since I now have the time. I’ve found that the few common interests we shared once have allowed us to blossom together. Words aren’t spoken between us in a lover’s way; it’s more of a "knowing.” The way he looks at me, I see it, and I know my eyes shine brightly when I look at him.
My relationship is content. There is nothing wrong. The warrior and I do not argue, or bicker, yet the relationship, at least for me, has grown…stale. He works, yet never progresses. As well, I work, but don’t bother to want to progress. This new Sith has created for me, a bubble in which only he and I exist. Our conversations last long into the night, and begin again with the morning, never failing. The feeling is intense, a bright fire burning, and an incessant need to add more fuel.
The human and I have recently discussed taking a small vacation to Nar Shaddaa just to be away from it all and spend some time together. The plans are set, and already in motion. We have discussed the before and after of the trip, where we want and hope things between us will go. He knows I am presently involved, but seems to not let it bother him, for the most part.
Elza, help me. I need some advice on what to do. I cannot back out from the vacation, nor do I want to. Once the trip is over, and we return to our mundane daily tasks, what should I do? Do I go on being content in the relationship I’m in, or do I throw everything away on an insane whim?
Torn on Tatooine"
Dear Torn on Tatooine,
When this letter came to my message box, I had to reread it several times. I wasn’t exactly sure what advice you were looking for as it seems the answers are already in front of you.
You agreed to the vacation with the human, which tells me you are interested in what could possibly become a powerful, fulfilling relationship. Yet you stand back and are watching it happen as if you are just a bystander. There are reasons the two of you came together in the absence of your present mate. I don’t know those reasons, nor can I even begin to understand the feelings you and the human share, but they are there.
What advice I can give you, you have already figured out on your own. The trip to Nar Shaddaa is not simply to spend time together, it’s for you to detach yourself fully from your present relationship and focus solely on the new human. Do it and enjoy it. You will not discover new and exciting things in this life if you do not take some risk.
What happens after the trip? Well, you two find that the time spent together alone wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and you remain close as friends, or simply part ways. You return to your normal daily life as he does to his, no harm, no foul. Or, you two find that there are deep seeded passions rolling under the surface and "need to fuel the fire.” Is that such a terrible thing?
The warrior is your main concern, is he not? Why end a perfectly content relationship where you and he both are safe? The answer is so very simple. It is "safe.” There is no passion, no fire, no bubble, as you put it. There is no deep interest, or progression, a safe life of nothing new and bold. I see only one path in front of you Torn, and you’re already ahead of my advice.
Take the trip, take the risk, and enjoy doing it. What will happen will happen, and deal with the warrior when it is said and done. Be prepared for the warrior’s feelings for you to be much deeper than they seem on the surface, and make sure you are positive beyond one hundred percent, when you make that final decision. It’s your life, take it into your hands, and make of it what it should be.
For further information regarding this article and participation, please refer to the main forum thread "Heart to Holo: A Lover's Advice Column" located under "Roleplay Discussion and Planning."